What’s the first disappointing experience that you have ever had?
Let me tell you mine.
I was a small kid, I don’t remember how small but I’m pretty sure that this was before I even knew that alphabets could be used in mathematics. Only after algebra came into my life did shit really start to become complicated.
Anyway, back to that one early disappointment in my life.
At the time I was really fascinated by stars and what lies beyond our planet, I still am to some extent. I used to gaze up at the stars and be filled with a feeling of wonder.
One day, my dad came back home with a telescope. I remember being so excited about it. I spent hours just looking at the box that it came in, and then happily opening up one of my encyclopedias and looking at pictures of Jupiter and asteroids and comets. I felt like one of my dreams was about to come true, and the intoxication of that feeling is something that I can’t explain- it’s something you have to experience for yourself.
The day to open up that telescope and to gaze at the wonders of the sky finally came.
As I watched my dad put the telescope together, I once again revisited beautiful images of space and stars and planets in my mind.
We pointed the telescope at Sirius, which is the brightest star in the sky. With an immense amount of anticipation, I shut my left eye and looked through the lens with my right eye.
Had I been as old as I am today, I probably would have said something like, “What the fuck is this bullshit?!”
I didn’t see the beautiful scenery of space. I didn’t see the stars. I didn’t see the colourful space dust. All that I saw was a close up view of a bright light. It was almost like taking a magnifying glass to a light bulb. I remember being really disappointed about that.
I remember going to bed looking up at the ceiling still picturing the beautiful landscape of extra-terrestrial space. I remember beating myself up about being stupid enough to actually think that what I saw in the pictures was true.